Hadrian = Love

So I absolutely adore Hadrian. He is hands down the cutest little guy I've ever laid eyes on. He is just perfect. He has lots of dark hair. LOTS. Lizzie (his birth aunt) does his hair into a mohawk. Hadrian also has a teeenee tiny cleft in his chin.**swoon** It is the most adorable tiny cleft...

His umbilical cord fell off. Yay. It does make me sad that I have people telling me when things happen and what the dr says and this and that and how he likes to be held or burped....or whatever. Because I want to be the one telling others these things. I know I need to be patient, but sometimes its really hard. Especially being as close as we are to the goal...but not being quite there. It was hard to leave him today...empty arms...well they just suck...

I did, finally, change his diaper. He didn't pee on me...we have a verbal agreement that he won't pee on me...but he has my blessing to pee on others...ha.

My mom and Kenton were able to meet him tonight. Kenton even held him for a bit. It really cracked me up because I think Hadrian has Kenton's nose. So it was funny to see them side by side.

Also, Julie invited me over one day to basically see his schedule. Wow. That makes this feel so much more real. I mean, I know that this is happening and it isn't a dream. But talking about his schedule just really hit me. I don't know. I am not even sure MY schedule will allow it for me to visit like that, because of days off and certain fundraisers and stuff...but I'm certainly going to try...who wouldn't want to spend the day with beautiful Hadrian.

Ah. So I'm exhausted.

Praying for peace...and sleep...and peaceful sleep...won't you join me in that prayer :)

Silent Auction Stuff...***edit***

I've been meaning to get a list going for quite a while...But we've just been so busy. So here is what we've gotten so far. We might still have a few more things come in, I'm not sure.

4 movie passes to Cinemark Movies 10

$25 Gift certificate for Red Lobster

4 Free Buffets to CiCi's Pizza

2 Cute as Pie headbands from Lindsey

A necklace/bracelet/earring set from Jordan

3 afghans made and donated by my lovely grandma

2 small decorative quilts

1 free sub from Quiznos

A small curling iron donated by Sally's

A pink scrapbook that says "He's Mine" on the front

Bob the Builder wall appliques

An antique Japanese tea serving table

2 antique dolls

Tae kwon do punching bag and accessories

An awesome drawing of Ronald Reagan by Jerid

A customized Illustration by Jerid...the winner of this auction will give Jerid a picture and he'll draw it...its pretty cool stuff....

An orange tote with a scarf and a necklace from Maurices

Original artwork by Jeni

$100 gift certificate for a tattoo by Arin from Sharp Images in Orrville :)

$10 gift card to Longhorn

1lb of Pike Place Roast Coffee, 1lb of Anniversary Blend and a Coffee Starbucks coffee mug

$10 gift certificate to Troyer's Home Pantry

Basket of dressings and syrups from Bob Evans

$25 gift card to Lehman's Hardware

Free haircut by Sheila from our church :)

2 oak shelves (I'm unsure of the size, but I'll update that as soon as I know)

I may have forgotten something, but I think that is it. If I think of anything else or we get anything else I'll update the list...

We got a few more t-shirt sales and another donation and our total is now over $3,000!!! Praise the Lord! We are doing so well. I'm really hoping we'll have Hadrian home by the end of the month. We got to hang out with him and his birth family again yesterday. He is amazing. I can not wait til we can bring him home. This time we were able to take Justin's mom Tawny and Alex. Alex is an amazing older brother...he's had lots of practice...It was really nice to see him hold his baby brother so gently. It was a great time and I am so thankful they will let us bring our families in to their home.

I've got a wedding today, so nothing really happening on the adoption front...unless I take my t shirt order form with me to the wedding...hmmmmmmmmm....

We put the FUN in fundraiser....

Ok, not really. We had a very low-key table set up at CiCi's last night. But I had a blast. I was able to see friends I haven't seen in awhile and was able to talk to people about our situation. It was a great night. So here is how we did...We sold 2 t shirts! We made $83 from the receipts! And my mom won the 50/50 raffle...so we were able to keep the whole amount...which was $100! So with the donations, last night alone, we made $823!!!! WOW! That total blew us away! We are so thankful for our friends and family that came out! Our family doctor even came out...it was just awesome to see these people rally around us!

So today we woke up with new hope...and new energy! We are getting back out there to collect more things for the silent auction. We are doing great with things so far and I promise to blog about all the loot we've gotten! So everyone mark your calenders for Sept 26th...8am-11am...at Heartland Christian Center in Wooster. Tickets are only $5!!

Later today we are taking Justin's mom and Alex over to meet Hadrian...we are all very excited!

The Night We Met

It was a chilly September evening, the night we met.

You wore a white onesie with yellow trim.

And silly Snoopy socks Lizzy thought were cute, even though they were too big.

I was able to feed you and Daddy burped you.

Daddy and I sat on the couch and just stared at you.

After Daddy and I left, we loved that we could still smell you.

You held my fingers while you drank your bottle.

We took a lot of pictures, the night we met.

And asked a lot of questions.

You made funny faces that made everyone laugh.

You couldn't keep your eyes open for more than five minutes.

Daddy got off work at 8 and we rushed over to meet you as soon as he clocked out.

We missed a street and did a U-turn in the middle of the road.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky, the night we met.

And Daddy and I loved every second.

We are very blessed that we get to be your Mommy and Daddy.

Getting down to business...

Justin and I have been working pretty hard on this adoption for the past couple of days. I'm so exhausted, I could probably sleep for 5 days straight. But I can't because my baby boy needs to come home. And that thought is keeping me going.

Yesterday we were in contact with the birth-family. They are amazing. I feel so blessed that our little guy will grow up in our family, but one day will know what all these wonderful people, who are also his family, did to help us along the way. They have been sending us pictures since yesterday and that alone has been amazing. I wish so many things could have been different, like getting to go up to the hospital, but I am so thankful for what we have received. I seriously couldn't stop looking at my phone today. He is too perfect. I would LOOOOVE to post a picture but due to privacy reasons and the fact he's not *legally* our son, I can't. Soon though, hopefully soon everyone will get to see how adorable he is.

So since Wednesday we've been working getting donations lined up for our silent auction. I typed up a letter and yesterday and today Justin has been going to area businesses telling them our need and delivering letters. My husband is amazing. I need to make a post about all the reasons why I love him...but for now that'll have to wait. I knew he was excited about the baby and that he wanted the baby just as much as I do...but he moved out of his comfort zone to help bring our baby home, and was proving with out a doubt he is totally committed to this. Even just typing it makes me want to cry.

So our silent auction donations are seriously stacking up. We've got some pretty heavy hitters coming in and I'm totally pumped. I am feeling so blessed to have such amazing friends that are just pouring themselves out for us. It is amazing. And humbling. And I am so thankful. I am going to make a post listing all of our silent auction items...but that might have to wait until tomorrow. I'm quickly becoming sleepy.

So in other adoption news...we had our fire inspection today. We passed. Which is good. The inspector made Justin unplug our Bath and Body Works WallFlowers....but other than that we were good to go. Praise the Lord. I mean, we knew we would be fine, but it was still annoying.

We are slowly getting through the list of things we need to get done. Our physicals are next week and thats the last MAJOR thing we have to do. The rest is paper chasing...

And the best news of all...We get to meet the little guy tomorrow. Justin's work schedule is hectic, to say the least, this weekend so when he gets off work tomorrow at 8 we are headed over the maternal-grandma's house. I'm so excited to meet him...the crazy thing is...with the first picture they sent to me, when I opened it I felt like I already knew him. I know that may sound crazy, but it is so true. I felt an amazing peace fill me and I just felt like I knew him. It was a great feeling.

I've rambled long enough and I really need sleep. I slept through Justin's alarm and my alarm this morning....not good...

He's finally here!

After a very long day of waiting I finally got the call! He finally entered the world at 10:15 on Wed night...They did an emergency c-section on birthmom. He weighs 8lbs 7oz and is 20" long!

So now...we wait some more. We will be headed to the hospital if birthmom and dad are still feeling like they will go through with the adoption...but if there is any inkling of any feeling like they are going to change their minds, then we won't be going up tomorrow. So we are just taking one step at a time.

We are in continuous prayer for the birth parents as they face this decision. This not a decision I could ever make and I just hope that they do what is best for him...

So please just continue to pray and pray some more....

Updates everywhere...

First of all...I just wanted to the world to know that my little brother got his temps today...so watch for him out on the road! So there is my fair warning...

Ok, on to adoption related things...Birthmom is being induced tomorrow. It is earlier than we were hoping...but we will deal with this like anything else with this adoption. One day at a time. Our contact will call us as soon as he is delivered and we will decide from there whether we will go on up to the hospital. I'm thinking that we will go even if all we can do is peer in at him through the nursery window.

We are still fundraising. But it is coming in. Praise the Lord. We are selling t shirts like there is no tomorrow....At least I feel like I am. We are also going to be doing a CiCi's Pizza donation night thing. Basically you advertise that you will be at CiCi's collection donations and you collect receipts from people as they pay...at the end of the night you turn in the receipts and then CiCi's sends you a check for a percentage of the amount in sales. So we are doing that Sept 17th, from 4-8 at the Massillon CiCi's.

And then there will be a pancake breakfast. We are planning that for Sept 26th. We are hoping to also have a silent auction. Basically between work, homestudy stuff, baby stuff, and fundraising stuff I will be one busy person. I'm dealing with the stress as it comes...Sometimes it just hits me like a huge wave and I have to sit back and remember just who brought us here. He knows what he is doing. He has always known. And with that comes an amazing Peace that only He can provide. That is where I need to be mentally from here on out. Trying not to focus on the what ifs, but on the Lord.

And that catches everyone up...

Tonight, I probably won't be getting much sleep.

And tomorrow Hadrian will be born. What an amazing thing.

What's in a name?

So a few people have been asking about the name Hadrian.

"What does it mean?", "Where did you get it?", "What's with the wall?" etc. etc.

Well, lets start with the name...Hadrian. I have found a few meanings...Behind the Name says Hadrian simply means "From Hadria"...Hadria being a town in Northern Italy...Alternatively Nameberry says Hadrian means "dark haired"...Neither are particularly awesome meanings...but that is ok. Not all names have amazing meanings...just check my name at Behind the Name not everyone is blessed....and thats ok...

Basically I fell in love with the name while I was in Rome in 2005. Hadrian is the Roman Emporer who had the Pantheon built. The original Pantheon had burned down and he decided another should be built. So build it they did.

I remember standing on a side street near a McDonald's, listening to our tour guide talk about Hadrian...I thought...whoa, that is a stinking awesome name. I stored it in my name file...with the hundreds of other potential names I have floating around...Flash forward to meeting Justin. We had been dating one month...we were sitting at CiCi's pizza discussing baby names...and I threw it out there and he didn't dislike it. That is a major accomplishment with Justin. He usually at least dislikes most names. He is absolutely the opposite of me in the name game...So since that day Hadrian has been on our list. I love it more and more every day.

Ok, your history lesson is not over just yet...Not only did Hadrian have the Pantheon built he also built a HUGE wall...Ha. The Roman empire had stretched very far at this time...it had expanded all the way to England. But the Roman citizen's there were being attacked by barbarians from the north. So to put an end to that Hadrian built a wall that stretched across the entire Island. The Romans did some amazing things in their time and Hadrian's wall was one of them. The wall can still be seen today and actually you can camp along the trail of the wall...which I only recently found out about, but would love to do it.

So here we are, in 2009, building a new Hadrian's Wall. Not one made of stone and rocks but one made of love and hope and support. We are unable to make this adoption happen on our own...we need the love, hope, and support of our friends and family. You are helping make this adoption possible. You are helping our family to grow. You are helping to bring our son home....

We chose Hadrian as our son's name a few days after agreeing to adopt him. We originally planned to take our secret list of 4 names with us for when we met him and we would decide then what his name would be. But we talked it over a few times and finally decided that our situation was just too different. This baby needed a name...a strong name. A name that stood for something...Hadrian...

A short paragraph on his two middle names. We are fully aware that our last name is not an easy last name and giving our child(ren) two middle names is not making life easier for them, but I just love names. There was no way we could narrow them down any further. Caleb is after Justin's best friend Caleb. He is the guy that brought Justin to our church and he was best man at our wedding...Christopher was also a friend of Justin's. Christohpher was KIA in Iraq in 2005. Christopher is also my older brother's middle name. This name just fits perfectly...

So there you have it...Hadrian Caleb Christopher...

T-shirt sales...

So it looks like we might finally be rolling with the shirt sales. We have picked a design and we are now trying to figure out if we will be able to ship the shirts. I mean, we will be able to ship the shirts we just need to figure out how and how much it will cost the shirt buyer. Or something. It is getting late and I can barely think.

We will be selling the shirts for two weeks for sure. We will then place an order and if we need to keep selling shirts, or people want to keep buying them, we will sell another batch. I'm hoping we can get enough sold in the first batch but I'm prepared to sell t shirts for as long as I need to.

Today we got our fingerprints done. It is very interesting how they are done electronically. It was also more expensive than we anticipated. But so is everything with this adoption. We better just get used to it. Next week our cat and dog, Severus and Remy have an appointment with the vet. We need to get them caught up with their shots and then the next week we have a Dr visit for our physicals. Well, hopefully the Dr will do our physical. We are patients of her's from her old practice, so technically we are "new patients" and have to go through the whole process, but we will certainly give her the adoption sob story so maybe she won't make us come back for another visit.

I also need a copy of my birth certificate...That little piece of paper is always so elusive. I have requested a copy of that so many times...driver's license, passport, marriage license...how sad that after every use, i lose it. This time it will go directly into the fire safe where it will happily stay until I need it again...

Home Study Visit 1 and 2...

So yesterday was the first home study visit. Today was the second. It has been a rough couple of days to be honest. Its one thing to answer questions about yourself but then to have your house judged as someone walks through it1. Its not fun. But I know it will be worth it.

I don't know why I bother worrying, because really in the end it is all handled. Of course. I knew it would be.

Yesterday she focused on Justin. She seriously asked him questions for like 2 hours straight. They are deep personal questions so its not easy. Today was me. I was a mess at work ALL day. Today was her actual walk through of the house too, checking for safety issues. I was seriously nervous that she had her giant red *FAIL* stamp ready to go...but of course in the end, everything was fine.

So even though only one fraction of the work is done, it is slowly coming together. We background checks and also clearance from the child abuse list, fingerprints, a financial statement, pet immunization forms, and a few other odds and ends. It seems like a never ending list of things to go through. I know we will get there. But even though this was just the home study visits, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is the part I was dreading the most. And now its over.

Rejoice!!

Another amazing thing happened to me today. The birthmom's cousin, is my friend from work. She called me yesterday telling me that she needed to give me something. I assumed it would be a cute little outfit. Today she handed me a card...with a large donation in it! I was shocked. She proceeded to tell me that her father's side of the family has 13 siblings and a long while ago they decided to not do Christmas present exchanges, instead they would adopt a family and donate money to them. This year my friend's mom and dad were in charge and her mom came up with the idea to adopt us. She sent a mass email to the family saying "Christmas is coming early, lets adopt this couple because they are adopting one of us". *tears* I was speechless. My friend says there is more coming. I am so thankful...

Rejoice!!

I am thankful that I listened to the Lord. I heard him call and I didn't back down. We moved forward...and we are still moving forward...until we bring him home. Hadrian is a blessing, even now, unborn. Wow. I know this guy is going to do great things in the Kingdom and I can't wait to see them happen!

And again I say...Rejoice!!

T Minus 24 hours

I can't write much because I am getting ready for work. But I wanted to let everyone know how our meeting with the lawyer went. It went ok. He is referring us to another lawyer and he will remain birthmom's lawyer. Which is fine with us. The "bad" news is that we do have to have the money up front. He said we would need about $5,000.00. Which is about a thousand more than we thought. So if you have noticed the change on facebook....that would be why.

We are not discouraged, just more determined. So the plan today is to call the new lawyer and set up another meeting. Tomorrow is the only day Justin and I both have off, so it will probably be sometime tomorrow.

We are still working on the t shirt sales, those should be coming very soon. I've been asking people if they would be interested in buying one or two and the response is nearly overwhelming. So I'm pumped about that. We should be able to meet the goal pretty quickly.

So thats where we are today. I'm headed to work now. Woo.