Leaving...

I'm officially on my maternity leave! Wow.

This might just really happen...

Tonight I'm feeling...anxious.

and happy.

and nervous.

I can't believe that tonight is our last night as a family of 3.

I felt overwhelmed last night when we visited. I'm not sure why. Hadrian was quite a bit fussier than usual and we all knew that it would be the last time we visited before Tuesday. I know they aren't judging me...and of course they know that I am a first time mom...but I still feel judged when I can't get him to stop crying. I'm so insecure sometimes. I did reign supreme and end up being the one who got him to quiet down before I passed him to Daddy who promptly rocked him to sleep.

I just can't believe that after 2 years of waiting I am mere hours away from being a mommy.

I'm hoping that I get some rest tonight. We probably won't...it is worse than Christmas Eve...but our payout is going to be so much more! I am so excited.

So prayers please as birthmom goes to court at 11am...and then we go at 2pm...As soon as it is over we are headed to pick him up. We are going to let the family take their time saying goodbye though. We do not want to rush them so I'm not sure how long we will be there. So that is basically it...

I'll update soon.