Just me and the boys

The Past Year

2010-11-03T21:25:00.005-04:00

Today is our one year anniversary of being a family of 4. 365 days ago we walked in to a court room and talked to a judge...we walked out with a piece of paper in our hand saying that we could pick up our son. I can still remember almost every minute of that day. Justin went out that morning...and I can't remember where he went, I do however remember wishing he was home because I was beyond stressed and knew he was the only one that could bring me back down to earth.

We drove to Hadrian's grandparent's house where we were welcomed with open arms. Hadrian was asleep when we got there. We stayed for awhile. We didn't want to rush their good byes. At that point none of us were sure what our future relationships would be so we wanted them to hug and hold him as much as the wanted. We eventually left and went straight to my job. And from there, we came home...and from home we went to Justin's parents house. I'm pretty sure that once we left the house for court, I didn't sit still for longer than 20 minutes.

And Justin wouldn't let me change my clothes! He made me stay dressed up. I wore a purple shirt...and I'm pretty sure that Lizzy told me that Hadrian's birth mom also wore purple. I found that fact very interesting...

This year...we didn't really do anything special. I let Hadrian stay in his pajamas all day. And we played. And we snuggled on the couch. And we sang. And we waited for Daddy to get home. It was a perfect day...much like this same day last year.

Hadrian has really taken off. He is nearly 14 months old. He loves music and will stop everything he is doing to dance a little and clap when he hears it. No matter if someone is singing it, or he hears a short jingle on tv. Its very sweet. He especially likes Michael Buble's The Best is Yet to Come and the theme song to the Golden Girls. He knows the signs for "more", "cookie", and "milk". And can say "Hi/hey", "dad/dada", "mama", "bye", "ki-ki" (kitty), "Sevs" (Severus, our cat's name), "puuuup" (puppy), "ba" (ball), "pappy" (papaw), and "pop". He is constantly talking, and gibbering, but these are the things I am sure he is saying. He loves phones...and will turn anything in to a phone, including his blocks, shoes, any toy really, remotes, books, and his hands...just to name a few of his favorites. He is so smart and loves to mimic anything everyone does. He covers his mouth with his hand when he coughs! This boy loves to walk/jump/run and is constantly exploring. He especially loves to explore the cat food.

Hadrian is a sweet, snuggly boy that loves to give kisses. And every day I am thankful that I get to receive his sweet kisses.

I am blessed beyond words, and everyday I still marvel at the fact that the Lord brought this child in to our lives.

Happy 1 year home Hadrian!

Lizzy sent me this picture on the morning of court.

I heart Open Adoption

2010-09-10T22:20:00.001-04:00

Occasionally we get asked if we have contact with Hadrian's birth family. People are funny. They kinda ask with a look of "oh these poor people, always have a birth family to contend with". Nothing could be further from the way we feel. We love our open adoption. We love our son's first family. They are a great family...from top to bottom, oldest to youngest. We feel genuinely connected to them.

When Justin and I were discussing adoption at first, we always always always thought we'd do international adoption. We did not want an open adoption. We didn't want the birth family always hanging around. It seemed, unnatural. Ha. When we began the actual journey of adoption we started reading (We, meaning I, of course) and researching and the more we read the deeper we dug, the more we saw how awesome open adoption is. Our son was privileged to live with his birth grandparents for 53 days and in those 53 days we grew to love this family. To be a part of a new family. And nothing could feel more natural.

I still remember sitting on their couch and giving Justin "the look" so that he would ask the tough question. He asked Hadrian's grandparents what they wanted in terms of a relationship...What did they see for the future of our son, their first born grandson. I can still feel the pain and sadness as Hadrian's grandpa explained what they thought would be the best for everyone. Little to no contact. Letters and pictures. They definitely didn't want to see him. Not because they didn't love him. But because they thought it would be easier. Easier for them to move on. Easier for us to start a new life. Easier for Hadrian to accept us as his parents. I can still feel my heart race when I think about the hours that followed that visit. I remember stepping off their front porch and just being swallowed by sadness. I'm sure I cried on the way home. I loved this family and I knew my little boy would love them too. How could I keep him away from them!? Justin and I were heartbroken. For them...and most of all, for Hadrian.

Justin and I began praying. We talked a lot about how to change their mind. In the end we talked to a few people...our case worker and some friends and we decided that it was ultimately their decision and we would follow their lead. We wouldn't pressure them into seeing him or anything of those sorts, but we would just wait and see. *Thankfully* they began talking to friends and family as well. After a few more visits with them they brought the subject back up. They explained more of their feelings and we explained ours. But they did agree they still wanted contact. They were leaning more towards an open adoption.

This past year has been so fun, having a son...and gaining a new family in his aunt and uncle, and grandparents...and COUNTLESS great aunts and uncles. We've spent hours sitting around their living room. Endless hours at restaurants. Hours swimming in Uncle Doug and Aunt Teri's pool (Thanks again Doug and Teri!). Grandma Julie is always ready and willing to babysit. Even at the last minute. And always with a smile. We were even invited to the family reunion this year. They take a picture of each family that comes to the reunion and we were asked if we'd like to be in the family picture.

Our family is far from conventional. But we are a family. We aren't connected by blood, but we are all connected by love.

There are so many reasons to love our open adoption...but our 6 best reasons are Hadrian, Julie, Kelly, Lizzy, Michael and Tina.

We are so blessed.

One Year Ago

2010-09-09T21:26:00.002-04:00

It is something that I have always known. Like breathing. I've always known I was put on the earth to be a mommy.

I was right.

I'm so thankful that the Lord put this longing in my heart. I'm so thankful that I went through all of the pain. I learned. I fought. I cried. I begged. I waited. I gave it all to the Lord. And in a way that only He could orchestrate, my life changed on September 9, 2009.

My dream came true.

I became a Mommy...Weeeeeeellll, I didn't really become a "Mommy" until later...but in my heart...after I got the call, I knew I was this little boy's Mommy.

I am a Mommy today. A mommy to a spunky, adorable, hilarious, sweet 365 day old.

Hadrian is doing well. He has been walking for a few months and has quite the vocabulary. He says "Hi/Hey", "Dad, Da, Dada", "Maaaam", "Bob" (bottle), "baa" (ball), "Bye", "KeeKee" (kitty). He can also shake his head no. Which is the cutest thing, especially if he happens to do it at appropriate times...He can also point to his nose...well, he does it about half the time. Which tells me that he knows where his nose is, he is just choosing to not point to it. He waves hello/goodbye and he holds everything up to his ear because everything is a phone to him...Things that I have seen him hold up to his ear...our phone, cell phones, the remote, a wii remote, his piano toy, blocks, baby shoes, flip flops, socks, a rattle, a bottle, his blanket, and his hand. He is so funny.

Justin has been able to work the same schedule as me for about a month or so and its been pretty nice. One day last week he was putting on his boots and he couldn't get his foot in one of them...he turned it over and out came some blocks. It was such a sweet moment...it made my soul sing.

I'm honestly trying to get back into a blogging habit. I feel like I have so much to say, but never the time. Or when I do have time, I don't have anything blog worthy. So I'm working on it.

Anyway, I just could not let today pass with out mentioning my growing boy. And how much he has blessed my life in ways I could never imagine.

We are officially and legally done!

2010-05-03T23:28:00.002-04:00

Wow. What a journey.

250 days since finding out about our little one, who was soon to be born, we are now legally his parents. Not just the way cool people who get to wipe up his drool and change 4+ poopy diapers a day...nope...not anymore. Now we are the way cool parents who get to call him son [for forever]. Now we are the way cool parents who get to teach him to walk...and talk...and how to obey...and how to wait his turn [because waiting is so worth it]. Now we are the way cool parents who get to watch him grow up and find his voice in this crazy world. Now we are the way cool parents who get to tell him about his biological family and his birth family AND his forever family. We are the way cool parents who get to teach him to be proud of our family.Now we are the way cool parents who get to pick him up when he falls and to teach him about God...and how to treat his future wife..

Today I woke up as his Mommy and tonight I go to bed as his Mother.

Court was super easy. I'm not gonna lie...I was nervous. I knew we had nothing to worry about...the adoption wasn't contested but that just didn't put me at ease. Nothing did...But we were surrounded by family. And it all happened so quickly. The judge asked similar questions as to the first time we were at court. He complimented us because our friends wrote great things for us in our references...Then he said Congrats...We took tons of pictures and our friend Melissa took a video of the whole 3 minutes. Haha.

So today our family is officially a family of 4. 4 feels good [for now] :)

I am so excited about where our family is headed. I know the Lord has big plans for this little man that is sleeping in our room. I can't wait to watch them all unfold. How blessed am I that I get a front row view of it?!? Tonight my prayers are with Hadrian's birth Mommy. She is facing some tough times. We don't know the details of her current problems, but my heart aches for her. Every time I look at my son I think of the sacrifices she made to make my family complete. This year we are celebrating Hadrian's birth Mommy on May 8th...In the world of adoption, the day before Mother's Day is Birth Mother's day...and with out our birth mother, I wouldn't be able to celebrate my most coveted holiday. So if you all would, just remember Hadrian's birth mommy in your prayers. Today I did text a little bit with [Aunt] Lizzie. She said that they were all happy and excited for us. And that her mom [Hadrian's birth grandma, incase you were lost...]"knew how we felt and couldn't be happier for us". We've said it before...and it was more prevalent when we were visiting them when they had Hadrian...but Justin and I honestly felt like they adopted us...They are our extended family now. And we feel blessed about that.

13 Days

2010-04-20T16:54:00.003-04:00

I really thought that time might slow down as we approached our finalization, but in reality...time hasn't slowed at all.

I guess it is a blessing...that of course we are moving forward in the adoption. And soon Hadrian will legally ours...but it just reminds me that his "baby days" are quickly slipping through my fingers.

Hadrian's first two teeth popped through. You can barely see them, but boy can you feel them! It was another bittersweet moment. He is growing up, yay! Soon countered by the...he's growing up...oh no! I surely will miss these days of babyhood. But I realize how blessed I am to be the one to watch him grow.

As we near finalization, Hadrian's birth mother is on my mind. I've been praying for her since we found out about the impending birth of Hadrian...but lately I've added some prayers. Hadrian's birth mom has issues that are different than a lot of birth mothers, and I can't really talk about them in a public forum...But we are grateful to her...she has given us the life she created. We get to to be the ones that he cries for. We get to be the ones to watch him learn something new. We get to be the ones he covers in slobbery kisses and the ones he lays his head on when he is tired. We get to be the ones who receive the compliments on his adorableness. I get to be mommy and Justin gets to be daddy...all because of her sacrifice for him.

So as he learns something new, or tries something for the first time...I am reminded of one woman's sacrifice...Her sacrifice so that I can be the witness to the amazing life she created.

We are 13 days away. I am so happy...but as these 13 days come and go, I am struck with bittersweet thoughts. But I am thankful beyond words...

Full Circle

2010-04-15T23:34:00.002-04:00

So tonight...I feel like we have come full circle...Sept 2 was the day of our first home study visit and tomorrow, April 16 we will have our final post placement visit.

The last one!

Praise the Lord!

We are so excited to be closing this chapter of Hadrian's story.

Our countdown continues...we are at 17 days until finalization. We got our final petition to the courts that we have to sign and mail. It is just so cool to be seeing and saying words like "last" and "final" and of course "finalization".

I was explaining our whole story to someone at work. She had a few questions about the whole waiting 6 months to finalize. I was happy to answer them...but it really got me thinking again about just how blessed we are. We haven't had any worries about the adoption being contested. We haven't had any issues with the birth family at all. We are actually close with them. We still refer to them as Grandpa K and Grandma J and of course Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Mike. I am thankful they get to be a part of his life.

I have so much to be thankful for. We used to sing a song at church...it said "Count your blessings name them one by one...count your blessings to see what God hath done" When I do this I get so overwhelmed. When I think about all the blessings we have encountered as a couple I am just grateful to our Lord. He has blessed us over and over again even in the darkest night when it seemed our cries would never end. He was there.

I could marvel forever at the blessings bestowed upon us...but I would rather encourage others to look remember to count your blessings. Sometimes the world gets to us and its easy to look at all of our misery and mistakes...It happens to everyone. People have bad days. But nothing will get you out of a funk faster than thinking and dwelling on our blessings.

Rumor has it...

2010-04-03T22:25:00.004-04:00

So the rumor is...today while I was at work Hadrian said "maaaaaa"...the sound could not be replicated upon my return home so the authenticity of this rumor is still in question.

Tomorrow may or may not put an end to this rumor...

But I sure hope it does!

Oh and 29 days to go...

30 Days and counting

2010-04-02T22:13:00.002-04:00

It is official.

We have begun the countdown.

30 days...

736 hours...

Justin and I will officially be Hadrian's parents. Oh wow.

We are so excited for this all to be over. It has been an amazing journey but I can't wait to have this chapter closed. He will forever be ours. We have 1 more post placement visit with our amazing social worker, Dena. She has gone above and beyond what I would expect of any social worker. I hope that when we update our home study to one day adopt more babies that we will have her or someone just as amazing as her.

We got our taxes back and with that we are making the final payments for the home study and post placement visits. [Thank you Lord for meeting all of our financial needs...]Who woulda thought we'd pay people to inspect every aspect of our homelife. Hehe. Its tedious, and I know why it is done...so I am thankful that these steps are here to protect little ones...but I wish we could have opted out of them.

Hadrian had a rough week this week. At first we thought maybe he was getting a tooth or something but it turned out he had a bug. He was not sleeping well at night and was running a fever. It was really tough watching him suffer and not being able to really do anything about it. We gave him tylenol but it didn't always help. Thankfully after a good 3-4 days he seems to be all better. Justin and I on the other hand have been battling it ourselves since then.

So our little guy is growing up so quickly. He hits his hands together in an *almost clap* but his fists are clenched type movement. He sits up unassisted and can almost get himself into a sitting up position by himself. He is loving his foods...I try to make his baby food...but only really had luck with butternut squash and sweet potatoes...everything else I tried didn't really work out well. But he loves both of those...and peas, carrots, apple sauce, green beans, and of course bananas. He will freak out if you eat a banana within sight of him...I think he believes all bananas belong to him and we are just here to peel them for him. He still isn't saying mama yet but I did hear an "Mmmmmmmmmm" once...so I think it'll happen soon. He is also soooooooooo close to being mobile. He gets up on his hands and knees and he rocks back and forth. A few times he has moved his knees but his hands don't know to move yet so he ends up looking quite silly and then falling over.

He is giving sweet kisses and will hold his arms up/out to be picked up. It always works for mama. He is weighing somewhere around 18lbs....and is almost 29"...97th percentile for height!! He also has a lovey...He just loves to snuggle with his Pooh bear that his Grammy and Grandpa gave to him at Christmas. I'm not a fan of Pooh, but I'm not gonna lie, its probably the cutest thing I've ever seen to see him hug and snuggle it.

So here we are...beginning our fifth month of him being home. We have learned so much and we have so much love for him. Sometimes we still marvel at the fact that the Lord chose us to be blessed by this sweet little boy.

This month will be a good month...and will drag on, I'm sure. But we will enjoy each day and take them one at a time. Relishing each moment we've been given with this little one. We will be patient and wait because we know we have the strength to endure...

Only 30 days...
...736 hours....

Dadadada

2010-02-19T00:38:00.002-05:00

Hadrian has been saying "Dadadadada" for a few days now. Its pretty cute...even though he doesn't really know whoooooo dadadada is....Hadrian also will not "perform" when he sees the camera. He has done that since pretty much day one. He becomes more interested in the camera in his face.

Its about time

2010-02-17T22:10:00.002-05:00

We found out from our lawyer last week that we finally have a court date! I am soooo excited. I haven't started counting down just yet...but our court date is May 3, 2010 at 3pm. They said they like to get it as close to 6 months post placement as possible...I had no idea that it would be almost exactly 6 month. It is 180 days and one hour from our previous court date! Whoa! How awesome.

I'm also very excited because even though we were planning on celebrating Mother's Day whether we had gone to court or not...we will *legally* be Hadrian's parents. So I will legally be allowed to celebrate the holiday :) I'm pretty stoked about that.

We are currently trying to figure out exactly how to celebrate this amazing milestone. Not sure if a quiet family gathering or a huge celebratory bash (which, of course probably wouldn't be that huge...) would be more fitting...Just weighing our options at this point...But I'm thinking inviting people out to eat. That way the cost would be minimal for us...and no planning (except maybe calling ahead for a reservation) needed...But I just don't know...

About a week and a half ago...I met Hadrian's birthmom. She is so cute. She was quiet, of course and I was on break at work plus I wasn't expecting to meet her at that moment. It was kind of awkward, I'm not gonna lie...but it was still pretty cool. I asked Lizzy the next day if she said anything about me. Lizzy said "she didn't say anything to me...but mom told me that she said you seem great and she is glad that you are raising her son" I froze momentarily. I think my heart stopped. I was hoping for a "yeah she didn't think you were a total loser"...but I got so much more.

It is a trend with our adoption. We are continuously blessed. Over. and. Over. It never ends. And I am still caught off guard. It still catches me. It still makes my heart skip a beat. I know the Lord answers prayers...and I've always known it...but now I know know it.

This past weekend Alex wanted to wear Hadrian in the mei tai. I of course want to promote brotherly bonding in any way I can...plus it is super cute to see men/boys baby wearing. Justin helped me tie it on him, which was harder than I expected...I can throw the baby on my back by myself (thanks to loooooots of practice) but getting him tied onto a little body was tough. Alex probably only wore him for 10 minutes...but it was enough to snap a bunch of pictures. I absolutely love to spread the babywearing love...and I hope that Alex will maybe someday use this for his own kiddos.

Ahh, my boys are amazing. I am thankful for all three of them.

5 months...

2010-02-10T21:03:00.005-05:00

So Justin was in a car accident tonight. Thankfully everyone is ok. He did not have Hadrian in the car with him. He rear-ended a guy so he was cited...Justin convinced the guy to take a ride in the ambulance because he had been out of it when Justin went up to his car. It was really scary to get that call from him...I'm so thankful that he is ok. I don't know what I would have done otherwise. He said his back is starting to to hurt so I think I'm gonna take tomorrow off so he can rest and I'll take care of the baby. Onward to happier things...

Hadrian is 5 months old and 1 day today. I can't believe he has been home for 3 months now. It really does not feel like 3 months. He is growing basically in front of our eyes. Some days I really miss little squishy newborn Hadrian...and at the same time I marvel at all the things he has learned and I'm excited to see what he will do next.

Hadrian had his doctor appointment last Thursday. We've decided to delay some of his vaccines so he isn't getting bombarded with all of them at one time. He seems to handle them very well. He of course cries at first but soon calms down. We watch for a fever or any symptoms of side effects and so far so good. Last week we even went out to eat with Justin's grandparents after his appointment. So he is weighing 16lbs right on the nose and he is 27"!!! He just seems so long. Some of his 3-6month pants still don't fit around the waist...but nothing else is long enough on his legs. Oh well...It is just amazing all the changes we have seen in him. He is really thriving on breast milk and I feel so extremely blessed to be able to give him this. We have been blessed with 6 different milk mamas. We appreciate each and every one of them no matter the size of the donation. We know it takes hard work and lots of dedication to breast feed your own child but to think enough of my child to pump a little extra to donate...well...that is mind blowing to us. Yikees...major tangent there...

Hadrian is officially a roller. He always seems so impressed with himself when he does it. It is so cute. He is nearing the end of being able to use his bouncer seat. It almost goes parallel with the floor when we put him in it. And yesterday on his 5 month birthday...we gave him cereal. It was quite the experience...

I think he ended up wearing more of the cereal than he ate...but that is okay with me. I'm in no hurry.

So I'm really excited about something at walmart.com . I live nearly 8 hours away from my grandma and some extended family. They do not have cell phones. They do not have the internet. (I have no idea how they survive...) Anyway, maybe everyone already knows about this service, but I just found out about it. Basically you upload photos to your walmart photo account. You then *send* it to any store in the US....I sent 40 pictures to my grandma's local walmart and she can pick them up at her convenience!! This is great because I don't have to worry about printing extras or mailing them and having them get all bent up. Nope...they are printed right there in her store. Maybe I'm easily impressed...but we printed our Christmas cards from walmart.com (to our store for same day pick up, I might add) and we were so impressed by their quality. Unfortunately I didn't get them all addressed and never did send them to anyone. You'll just have to take my word for how cute they were...haha.

Hadrian in Pictures

2010-02-01T19:37:00.028-05:00

We didn't post any pictures of Hadrian through out the two months that we waited to bring him home so I thought that instead of only posting pictures of him now...I would do like a little timeline....from the beginning to now. In theory it sounds good so....we'll see....
This is the very first picture of Hadrian we saw. I won't forget where we were or what we were doing. I was driving Justin to GFS, we were on RT 30 when I got the text. How stinking beautiful is the only thing I could think.

This is the second picture...

This is from the first night when we met Hadrian...

This is from when my baby brother first held Hadrian. I think Hadrian looks like Kenton....

Hadrian's aunt Lizzy was really great about sending us pictures of him when we weren't able to visit for a few days. She sent us this one...

sweet sleeping boy...

One of all of us...beginning of October....

Brotherly love...

This is from when we randomly ran into Julie and her sisters and Hadrian at Wendy's. I think I was 20 minutes late for work that day...totally worth it...

First day home...Justin is watching a car show *rolls eyes*

The cat checking out Hadrian

I'm pretty sure he's gonna love taco bell too...

Silly expressions...

Putting the Christmas tree up...well watching us do it...

Hanging out with Mama

Christmas Cutie...

Hadrian looooves to sing...I think he is singing here...

Such big beautiful eyes...

So tired...

Justin wearing Hadrian in the mei tai

He is so cute even when he cries...what kind of mama lets the babe cry while she grabs the camera?

And this is Hadrian about 3 days ago...

He is such a big boy! He barely fits in his bouncy seat these days. We feel so blessed that we get to be the parents of this sweet little man. My heart sings when I see him.

On Saturday I went to a baby shower and one of the girls that I kind of know, but not really, was oohing and ahhing over him and then she said "Well, he looks just exactly like you". I was kind of caught off guard...because apparently she didn't know that we adopted him...I didn't want to embarrass her so I graciously said "thank you". I'm not gonna lie, it made me feel good. I know that I'm Hadrian's mama...but I must really look like it to strangers. If that even makes sense....

Well....here's to becoming a regular blogger....

Lazy Blogger

2010-01-30T00:21:00.006-05:00

So I know that we brought Hadrian home almost 3 months ago. I know that I really have no excuse as to why my blog is not updated. I have so many things on my to do list...everything is getting pushed aside. But really its not my fault...The blame belongs to one amazing little guy who in some way or another is monopolizing my time.

Would I change that for anything in the world? Oh heck no.

The past two months have been a blur of happiness.

I always knew that I was meant to be a mom...but now I have proof....proof in the way I love my son.

My son.

There are no words sweeter to this mama's ears...

With my last post I was thinking about how our journey had ended. We reached our goal. We brought our son home...Ok, end of story...happily ever after and all that crap. How silly of me. Of course our story had not ended there. Our story as a family had just begun.

I did not make any new year's resolutions this year...I rarely do...see...I'm inherently lazy. And any resolutions go against my very nature. So this year, I did not make any resolutions but I did make up some goals for myself for this year. Yeah, sounds an awful like resolutions to me...but trust me, I wouldn't think twice about breaking a resolution...but a goal...now that is a different story...So here I am...with a gentle nudge from a sweet Milk Mama (that'd be you Amy) I am updating my poor neglected blog.

Hadrian is 143 days old. Today he sucked on a banana. It was cute.

Hadrian is a pro at blowing raspberries. Hadrian has a great belly laugh and a too cute smile. He loves to be sung to and he likes to dance. Hadrian still loves watching tv and gets a real kick out of leaning back on daddy and watching car shows. Hadrian loves to be worn in his mei tai especially at the store. He can roll over, but he doesn't do it on a regular basis...but he is good at rolling from side to side. He loves his crinkly lion, its def his favorite toy. He loves to stand and bounce. And Hadrian is hands down the best snuggler I've ever met.

I'm in the process of getting some more photos on the computer. Not only am I a lazy blogger, I take forever getting pictures from camera to computer. Such a sad existence really.

So hopefully I'll be back...sometime soonish. I won't say for certain, just in case...

Home...

2009-11-03T23:28:00.004-05:00

We made it.

Today was hands down...the longest...most beautiful day of my life.

Court went so smoothly. Nothing to worry about at all.

We picked Hadrian up. We said our goodbyes. We know it isn't for forever, we will see them again soon but it was still bittersweet...

Hadrian has slept most of the evening. We drove home and fed him...then headed to Ashland to introduce him to his aunts and Papaw. They all had fun playing pass the baby...and Grammy was able to feed him. He promptly fell asleep again...and we drove home.

We are a family of 4...

So we are gonna take it easy tomorrow just the 3 of us hanging out (Alex went back to his mom's today) and getting to know each other...

the force is strong with this one...

hahaha...too bad my husband doesn't read my blog...he'd love that...

So with that...we say Goodnight...

and I'll be posting pictures very soon...

:)

Leaving...

2009-11-02T16:57:00.003-05:00

I'm officially on my maternity leave! Wow.

This might just really happen...

Tonight I'm feeling...anxious.

and happy.

and nervous.

I can't believe that tonight is our last night as a family of 3.

I felt overwhelmed last night when we visited. I'm not sure why. Hadrian was quite a bit fussier than usual and we all knew that it would be the last time we visited before Tuesday. I know they aren't judging me...and of course they know that I am a first time mom...but I still feel judged when I can't get him to stop crying. I'm so insecure sometimes. I did reign supreme and end up being the one who got him to quiet down before I passed him to Daddy who promptly rocked him to sleep.

I just can't believe that after 2 years of waiting I am mere hours away from being a mommy.

I'm hoping that I get some rest tonight. We probably won't...it is worse than Christmas Eve...but our payout is going to be so much more! I am so excited.

So prayers please as birthmom goes to court at 11am...and then we go at 2pm...As soon as it is over we are headed to pick him up. We are going to let the family take their time saying goodbye though. We do not want to rush them so I'm not sure how long we will be there. So that is basically it...

I'll update soon.

We've got a Court Date!

2009-10-27T13:56:00.003-04:00

I can't write much...

But we finally have a court date....

Nov 3, 2009 at 2pm!

Exactly a week from RIGHT NOW...

Wow, I feel a lot better!!

adoption is...waiting...

2009-10-26T23:37:00.008-04:00

Here we are...Another day come and gone...Another day closer to bringing our son home.

Our visits with him are so bittersweet. I look forward to them but I also get very sad when I think of them. I know they are just visits...and after an hour (or two if we are lucky...well...we usually are there for 2 hours...who am I kidding?) We have to put him down and walk out the door. We take the band-aid approach...We usually do it very quickly...a quick snuggle and kiss on the forehead and out the door we go. I also like to leave when he is asleep. I like to think that he always fights sleep because he has noticed this pattern of us showing up...him falling asleep...us leaving and him waking up with out us. But I'm pretty sure he just likes to fight sleep because he can. As I was saying...leaving him is getting harder and harder to do.

But soon...very soon...we will leave the house as a family. We will no longer be empty handed...we will be...full handed? Oh what a day...I can hardly wait.

We did hear from the lawyer today...but still nothing concrete. Ugh. Don't the court people know that our baby boy needs to come home soon so I can slather him with mommy kisses?! We found out that the lawyer requested tomorrow, Wed, or Thus as the best days...So really...we should know something tomorrow...right? Right.

Here is a strange thing...The two year anniversary of our house fire is on Thursday...October 29th...As much as I would love to pick Hadrian up Wed or even tomorrow...a part of me wants our court day to be on Thu. I feel like the Lord is wiping that date clean and giving us a huge blessing. We will no longer look at the 29th as a day of mourning but as a day of celebration!

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

I am finding my peace in this verse...I know that this is all in God's time...I know that...Sometimes I forget...but I know waiting is renewing my strength. It is not draining me...no...it is giving me strength to continue on this bumpy road to our son...

Pretty soon we'll be able to post pictures of Hadrian...here is a teaser...I took this picture today with my phone, so it is the most recent pic of him that I have....

:) beautiful :)

I apologize if this post feels disjointed...my mind is moving quicker than my fingers....

Bumps in theRoad

2009-10-20T10:55:00.003-04:00

Ah. This journey has been anything but smooth. It seems at every turn we've faced one hurdle or another. I was looking forward to being done...but it looks like we have another bump...we are dealing with it like anything else. Basically it comes down to a misunderstanding. We definitely thought that our home study cost was coming out of the trust fund that we had through the lawyer. We were unfortunately wrong.

So here we are...$1200.00 short. I had one really bad day full of tears but I have since moved past that. Thankfully I have a great support system in my loving Hubby. We sat and prayed and we know that this is what the Lord has called us to do. To be the lucky parents of this adorable little boy.

We were really at a loss of what to do so we called the lawyer and the home study agency. The lawyer was basically no help. But the home study agency said that we could set up payments. So we are taking that route at this point.

Justin talked to our Pastor about the money and we were hoping to put a t shirt flier in the update at church. Our Pastor said instead of a flier he wanted to do a love offering for us. Yay. So we are waiting until after receiving that to proceed with setting up payments. We are so thankful for our church family. We'd be lost with out them. Seriously.

So if you would have asked me last Thursday...this would have been a road block. Basically halting our entire progress. Making it unable to continue...but today...I know it is not a road block...but simply a bump. A bump in this long adventure to bring our son home. It sucks...but it is what we have to do. So we will do it.

Justin just got off the phone with the home study agency! So here is the most up-to-date information available! Ok. The lawyer sent the agency $600 from our trust. So the agency is able to release our *ALMOST* finished home study. Justin's employer reference finally came through so they are finishing our home study right now as I type this. They are sending it to the lawyer today! Once the lawyer has it he can file with the courts! Praise the Lord! We are still $1200 short but at least we can move forward.

I called on your name, O Lord,from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.” You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.” -Lamentations 3:55-57

Home Stretch!!

2009-10-10T15:58:00.002-04:00

We are almost done with this crazy roller coaster ride! I'm so pumped. The Lord has seriously provided us with so many blessings along this journey. We have two major updates to announce...

The first is that my birth certificate finally came and Justin's employer reference has been finished. So we now have everything collected so that our home study can be finalized. It is seriously thisclose to being finished. Hopefully Justin will be hand delivering it to Caring for Kids on Monday or Tuesday! What a relief. This morning I was double checking everything in our folder and couldn't find Alex's physical so I of course was freaking out thinking that we would have to re-do his physical because Justin was sure he had put it on the entertainment center. We searched high and low...and finally gave up. I resigned to the thought of waiting for another dr appointment and just dealing with it...but good news...Justin found it. It was never on the entertainment center. It never made it to the living room. He left it on the dishwasher in the kitchen. Ha. I'm so thankful that he was able to find it...

And our second announcement is....We have raised $4715!! This is an amazing number to me. I'm shocked and overwhelmed and humbled and ecstatic! I actually have 10 people that "ordered" a shirt that haven't paid. If we get those 10 shirts paid for...we would be within $100 of our goal...But Justin and I will pay the difference whether those 10 shirts get paid for or not...So...yeah!! We are done actively seeking donations and selling shirts...although you can still order a shirt if ya want...or donate for that matter...haha. ALSO...our lawyer said it was ok that we did not have the full $5,000.00 and that as long as we get it in as soon as we can. So that is it!

We are able to go to court as soon as our home study is finalized! Hadrian's birthmom is still all for going through with the adoption and Hadrian's birth grandparents are still being amazing. We are actually going to go to court in the county that Justin and I reside in and not the county that birthmom resides in because it will go much quicker. We aren't sure what our relationship with them will be after we get Hadrian, we are open to many things so we might let them tell us what they want and go from there. They are amazing people and I can't imagine them not being a part of his life in some way. We are very grateful to them. Without them we wouldn't have Hadrian :)

In other baby news...I was able to give Hadrian a bath yesterday. He seemed to like it. I was very nervous but I think I did ok for a first timer. Right now I'm doing Hadrian's first load of laundry...I've just been piling all the stuff we've collected but really want to get organized. Soon all the clothes will be laundered and put away nicely in their drawers. It will be nice to know what we have in what sizes...

One Step at a Time...

2009-10-01T12:24:00.002-04:00

Well. Its been over a week since I updated. Please excuse my absence. It may be a cop-out to say this, but really...we've been busy.

We had the Pancake Breakfast and Silent Auction on Saturday. It went okay. We went in to that needing $1700 and walked away needing about $800. So that was a great feeling. Being under $1,000...It also felt great to be done with the whole pancake thing. That was the biggest headache with this adoption. I don't think I'll ever, for the rest of my life, even consider doing anything that even resembles it. It was hard. Totally worth it, but so hard.

Well since then we've gotten a few donations and are currently a little over $500 away from our goal! Yay!! We have been so humbled by everyone's generosity and out pouring of love. It has been amazing. So we have a few more things to do to finish up the home study. I need my birth certificate, so we are going to the post office shortly to overnight our request for that. We also need to get Justin's employer reference. We are just waiting on that to come back from them. My dad is getting finger-printed tomorrow....and from there...we. are. done! So even though we didn't meet the goal of bringing Hadrian home before the end of September, I am proud to say we have moved through this very quickly and he will be home soon! Very soon.

We were able to see him on Monday. Justin was able to feed him. *swoon* Is there anything more wonderful than seeing the man you love take care of a baby...We are continuously amazed by Hadrian's brith family. They are such sweet people. We will hopefully get to see him again sometime this weekend. Maybe Sunday, not sure.

Last night we were able to spend a few hours with our good friends Kari, Matt, and their son Zach. They are a great family and have been so supportive of us through everything. They had a house fire a year before we did...and they adopted Zach three years ago...Coincidence? I think not. I fully believe that the Lord blessed us with these friends to help guide us through and to give us someone who we can share things with. Even though I wouldn't want anyone to go through a house fire, I'm not gonna lie...It has been a relief to have others who know what it feels like. Anyway, Kari and Matt have been great and it was wonderful to get to see them for a few hours.

Hadrian = Love

2009-09-23T21:59:00.003-04:00

So I absolutely adore Hadrian. He is hands down the cutest little guy I've ever laid eyes on. He is just perfect. He has lots of dark hair. LOTS. Lizzie (his birth aunt) does his hair into a mohawk. Hadrian also has a teeenee tiny cleft in his chin.**swoon** It is the most adorable tiny cleft...

His umbilical cord fell off. Yay. It does make me sad that I have people telling me when things happen and what the dr says and this and that and how he likes to be held or burped....or whatever. Because I want to be the one telling others these things. I know I need to be patient, but sometimes its really hard. Especially being as close as we are to the goal...but not being quite there. It was hard to leave him today...empty arms...well they just suck...

I did, finally, change his diaper. He didn't pee on me...we have a verbal agreement that he won't pee on me...but he has my blessing to pee on others...ha.

My mom and Kenton were able to meet him tonight. Kenton even held him for a bit. It really cracked me up because I think Hadrian has Kenton's nose. So it was funny to see them side by side.

Also, Julie invited me over one day to basically see his schedule. Wow. That makes this feel so much more real. I mean, I know that this is happening and it isn't a dream. But talking about his schedule just really hit me. I don't know. I am not even sure MY schedule will allow it for me to visit like that, because of days off and certain fundraisers and stuff...but I'm certainly going to try...who wouldn't want to spend the day with beautiful Hadrian.

Ah. So I'm exhausted.

Praying for peace...and sleep...and peaceful sleep...won't you join me in that prayer :)

Silent Auction Stuff...edit

2009-09-19T10:21:00.007-04:00

I've been meaning to get a list going for quite a while...But we've just been so busy. So here is what we've gotten so far. We might still have a few more things come in, I'm not sure.

4 movie passes to Cinemark Movies 10

$25 Gift certificate for Red Lobster

4 Free Buffets to CiCi's Pizza

2 Cute as Pie headbands from Lindsey

A necklace/bracelet/earring set from Jordan

3 afghans made and donated by my lovely grandma

2 small decorative quilts

1 free sub from Quiznos

A small curling iron donated by Sally's

A pink scrapbook that says "He's Mine" on the front

Bob the Builder wall appliques

An antique Japanese tea serving table

2 antique dolls

Tae kwon do punching bag and accessories

An awesome drawing of Ronald Reagan by Jerid

A customized Illustration by Jerid...the winner of this auction will give Jerid a picture and he'll draw it...its pretty cool stuff....

An orange tote with a scarf and a necklace from Maurices

Original artwork by Jeni

$100 gift certificate for a tattoo by Arin from Sharp Images in Orrville :)

$10 gift card to Longhorn

1lb of Pike Place Roast Coffee, 1lb of Anniversary Blend and a Coffee Starbucks coffee mug

$10 gift certificate to Troyer's Home Pantry

Basket of dressings and syrups from Bob Evans

$25 gift card to Lehman's Hardware

Free haircut by Sheila from our church :)

2 oak shelves (I'm unsure of the size, but I'll update that as soon as I know)

I may have forgotten something, but I think that is it. If I think of anything else or we get anything else I'll update the list...

We got a few more t-shirt sales and another donation and our total is now over $3,000!!! Praise the Lord! We are doing so well. I'm really hoping we'll have Hadrian home by the end of the month. We got to hang out with him and his birth family again yesterday. He is amazing. I can not wait til we can bring him home. This time we were able to take Justin's mom Tawny and Alex. Alex is an amazing older brother...he's had lots of practice...It was really nice to see him hold his baby brother so gently. It was a great time and I am so thankful they will let us bring our families in to their home.

I've got a wedding today, so nothing really happening on the adoption front...unless I take my t shirt order form with me to the wedding...hmmmmmmmmm....

We put the FUN in fundraiser....

2009-09-18T10:12:00.003-04:00

Ok, not really. We had a very low-key table set up at CiCi's last night. But I had a blast. I was able to see friends I haven't seen in awhile and was able to talk to people about our situation. It was a great night. So here is how we did...We sold 2 t shirts! We made $83 from the receipts! And my mom won the 50/50 raffle...so we were able to keep the whole amount...which was $100! So with the donations, last night alone, we made $823!!!! WOW! That total blew us away! We are so thankful for our friends and family that came out! Our family doctor even came out...it was just awesome to see these people rally around us!

So today we woke up with new hope...and new energy! We are getting back out there to collect more things for the silent auction. We are doing great with things so far and I promise to blog about all the loot we've gotten! So everyone mark your calenders for Sept 26th...8am-11am...at Heartland Christian Center in Wooster. Tickets are only $5!!

Later today we are taking Justin's mom and Alex over to meet Hadrian...we are all very excited!

The Night We Met

2009-09-13T22:35:00.003-04:00

It was a chilly September evening, the night we met.

You wore a white onesie with yellow trim.

And silly Snoopy socks Lizzy thought were cute, even though they were too big.

I was able to feed you and Daddy burped you.

Daddy and I sat on the couch and just stared at you.

After Daddy and I left, we loved that we could still smell you.

You held my fingers while you drank your bottle.

We took a lot of pictures, the night we met.

And asked a lot of questions.

You made funny faces that made everyone laugh.

You couldn't keep your eyes open for more than five minutes.

Daddy got off work at 8 and we rushed over to meet you as soon as he clocked out.

We missed a street and did a U-turn in the middle of the road.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky, the night we met.

And Daddy and I loved every second.

We are very blessed that we get to be your Mommy and Daddy.

Getting down to business...

2009-09-11T21:57:00.002-04:00

Justin and I have been working pretty hard on this adoption for the past couple of days. I'm so exhausted, I could probably sleep for 5 days straight. But I can't because my baby boy needs to come home. And that thought is keeping me going.

Yesterday we were in contact with the birth-family. They are amazing. I feel so blessed that our little guy will grow up in our family, but one day will know what all these wonderful people, who are also his family, did to help us along the way. They have been sending us pictures since yesterday and that alone has been amazing. I wish so many things could have been different, like getting to go up to the hospital, but I am so thankful for what we have received. I seriously couldn't stop looking at my phone today. He is too perfect. I would LOOOOVE to post a picture but due to privacy reasons and the fact he's not *legally* our son, I can't. Soon though, hopefully soon everyone will get to see how adorable he is.

So since Wednesday we've been working getting donations lined up for our silent auction. I typed up a letter and yesterday and today Justin has been going to area businesses telling them our need and delivering letters. My husband is amazing. I need to make a post about all the reasons why I love him...but for now that'll have to wait. I knew he was excited about the baby and that he wanted the baby just as much as I do...but he moved out of his comfort zone to help bring our baby home, and was proving with out a doubt he is totally committed to this. Even just typing it makes me want to cry.

So our silent auction donations are seriously stacking up. We've got some pretty heavy hitters coming in and I'm totally pumped. I am feeling so blessed to have such amazing friends that are just pouring themselves out for us. It is amazing. And humbling. And I am so thankful. I am going to make a post listing all of our silent auction items...but that might have to wait until tomorrow. I'm quickly becoming sleepy.

So in other adoption news...we had our fire inspection today. We passed. Which is good. The inspector made Justin unplug our Bath and Body Works WallFlowers....but other than that we were good to go. Praise the Lord. I mean, we knew we would be fine, but it was still annoying.

We are slowly getting through the list of things we need to get done. Our physicals are next week and thats the last MAJOR thing we have to do. The rest is paper chasing...

And the best news of all...We get to meet the little guy tomorrow. Justin's work schedule is hectic, to say the least, this weekend so when he gets off work tomorrow at 8 we are headed over the maternal-grandma's house. I'm so excited to meet him...the crazy thing is...with the first picture they sent to me, when I opened it I felt like I already knew him. I know that may sound crazy, but it is so true. I felt an amazing peace fill me and I just felt like I knew him. It was a great feeling.

I've rambled long enough and I really need sleep. I slept through Justin's alarm and my alarm this morning....not good...

He's finally here!

2009-09-10T00:06:00.002-04:00

After a very long day of waiting I finally got the call! He finally entered the world at 10:15 on Wed night...They did an emergency c-section on birthmom. He weighs 8lbs 7oz and is 20" long!

So now...we wait some more. We will be headed to the hospital if birthmom and dad are still feeling like they will go through with the adoption...but if there is any inkling of any feeling like they are going to change their minds, then we won't be going up tomorrow. So we are just taking one step at a time.

We are in continuous prayer for the birth parents as they face this decision. This not a decision I could ever make and I just hope that they do what is best for him...

So please just continue to pray and pray some more....

Updates everywhere...

2009-09-08T21:42:00.002-04:00

First of all...I just wanted to the world to know that my little brother got his temps today...so watch for him out on the road! So there is my fair warning...

Ok, on to adoption related things...Birthmom is being induced tomorrow. It is earlier than we were hoping...but we will deal with this like anything else with this adoption. One day at a time. Our contact will call us as soon as he is delivered and we will decide from there whether we will go on up to the hospital. I'm thinking that we will go even if all we can do is peer in at him through the nursery window.

We are still fundraising. But it is coming in. Praise the Lord. We are selling t shirts like there is no tomorrow....At least I feel like I am. We are also going to be doing a CiCi's Pizza donation night thing. Basically you advertise that you will be at CiCi's collection donations and you collect receipts from people as they pay...at the end of the night you turn in the receipts and then CiCi's sends you a check for a percentage of the amount in sales. So we are doing that Sept 17th, from 4-8 at the Massillon CiCi's.

And then there will be a pancake breakfast. We are planning that for Sept 26th. We are hoping to also have a silent auction. Basically between work, homestudy stuff, baby stuff, and fundraising stuff I will be one busy person. I'm dealing with the stress as it comes...Sometimes it just hits me like a huge wave and I have to sit back and remember just who brought us here. He knows what he is doing. He has always known. And with that comes an amazing Peace that only He can provide. That is where I need to be mentally from here on out. Trying not to focus on the what ifs, but on the Lord.

And that catches everyone up...

Tonight, I probably won't be getting much sleep.

And tomorrow Hadrian will be born. What an amazing thing.

What's in a name?

2009-09-05T22:04:00.006-04:00

So a few people have been asking about the name Hadrian.

"What does it mean?", "Where did you get it?", "What's with the wall?" etc. etc.

Well, lets start with the name...Hadrian. I have found a few meanings...Behind the Name says Hadrian simply means "From Hadria"...Hadria being a town in Northern Italy...Alternatively Nameberry says Hadrian means "dark haired"...Neither are particularly awesome meanings...but that is ok. Not all names have amazing meanings...just check my name at Behind the Name not everyone is blessed....and thats ok...

Basically I fell in love with the name while I was in Rome in 2005. Hadrian is the Roman Emporer who had the Pantheon built. The original Pantheon had burned down and he decided another should be built. So build it they did.

I remember standing on a side street near a McDonald's, listening to our tour guide talk about Hadrian...I thought...whoa, that is a stinking awesome name. I stored it in my name file...with the hundreds of other potential names I have floating around...Flash forward to meeting Justin. We had been dating one month...we were sitting at CiCi's pizza discussing baby names...and I threw it out there and he didn't dislike it. That is a major accomplishment with Justin. He usually at least dislikes most names. He is absolutely the opposite of me in the name game...So since that day Hadrian has been on our list. I love it more and more every day.

Ok, your history lesson is not over just yet...Not only did Hadrian have the Pantheon built he also built a HUGE wall...Ha. The Roman empire had stretched very far at this time...it had expanded all the way to England. But the Roman citizen's there were being attacked by barbarians from the north. So to put an end to that Hadrian built a wall that stretched across the entire Island. The Romans did some amazing things in their time and Hadrian's wall was one of them. The wall can still be seen today and actually you can camp along the trail of the wall...which I only recently found out about, but would love to do it.

So here we are, in 2009, building a new Hadrian's Wall. Not one made of stone and rocks but one made of love and hope and support. We are unable to make this adoption happen on our own...we need the love, hope, and support of our friends and family. You are helping make this adoption possible. You are helping our family to grow. You are helping to bring our son home....

We chose Hadrian as our son's name a few days after agreeing to adopt him. We originally planned to take our secret list of 4 names with us for when we met him and we would decide then what his name would be. But we talked it over a few times and finally decided that our situation was just too different. This baby needed a name...a strong name. A name that stood for something...Hadrian...

A short paragraph on his two middle names. We are fully aware that our last name is not an easy last name and giving our child(ren) two middle names is not making life easier for them, but I just love names. There was no way we could narrow them down any further. Caleb is after Justin's best friend Caleb. He is the guy that brought Justin to our church and he was best man at our wedding...Christopher was also a friend of Justin's. Christohpher was KIA in Iraq in 2005. Christopher is also my older brother's middle name. This name just fits perfectly...

So there you have it...Hadrian Caleb Christopher...

T-shirt sales...

2009-09-04T22:30:00.003-04:00

So it looks like we might finally be rolling with the shirt sales. We have picked a design and we are now trying to figure out if we will be able to ship the shirts. I mean, we will be able to ship the shirts we just need to figure out how and how much it will cost the shirt buyer. Or something. It is getting late and I can barely think.

We will be selling the shirts for two weeks for sure. We will then place an order and if we need to keep selling shirts, or people want to keep buying them, we will sell another batch. I'm hoping we can get enough sold in the first batch but I'm prepared to sell t shirts for as long as I need to.

Today we got our fingerprints done. It is very interesting how they are done electronically. It was also more expensive than we anticipated. But so is everything with this adoption. We better just get used to it. Next week our cat and dog, Severus and Remy have an appointment with the vet. We need to get them caught up with their shots and then the next week we have a Dr visit for our physicals. Well, hopefully the Dr will do our physical. We are patients of her's from her old practice, so technically we are "new patients" and have to go through the whole process, but we will certainly give her the adoption sob story so maybe she won't make us come back for another visit.

I also need a copy of my birth certificate...That little piece of paper is always so elusive. I have requested a copy of that so many times...driver's license, passport, marriage license...how sad that after every use, i lose it. This time it will go directly into the fire safe where it will happily stay until I need it again...

Home Study Visit 1 and 2...

2009-09-03T20:18:00.002-04:00

So yesterday was the first home study visit. Today was the second. It has been a rough couple of days to be honest. Its one thing to answer questions about yourself but then to have your house judged as someone walks through it1. Its not fun. But I know it will be worth it.

I don't know why I bother worrying, because really in the end it is all handled. Of course. I knew it would be.

Yesterday she focused on Justin. She seriously asked him questions for like 2 hours straight. They are deep personal questions so its not easy. Today was me. I was a mess at work ALL day. Today was her actual walk through of the house too, checking for safety issues. I was seriously nervous that she had her giant red *FAIL* stamp ready to go...but of course in the end, everything was fine.

So even though only one fraction of the work is done, it is slowly coming together. We background checks and also clearance from the child abuse list, fingerprints, a financial statement, pet immunization forms, and a few other odds and ends. It seems like a never ending list of things to go through. I know we will get there. But even though this was just the home study visits, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is the part I was dreading the most. And now its over.

Rejoice!!

Another amazing thing happened to me today. The birthmom's cousin, is my friend from work. She called me yesterday telling me that she needed to give me something. I assumed it would be a cute little outfit. Today she handed me a card...with a large donation in it! I was shocked. She proceeded to tell me that her father's side of the family has 13 siblings and a long while ago they decided to not do Christmas present exchanges, instead they would adopt a family and donate money to them. This year my friend's mom and dad were in charge and her mom came up with the idea to adopt us. She sent a mass email to the family saying "Christmas is coming early, lets adopt this couple because they are adopting one of us". *tears* I was speechless. My friend says there is more coming. I am so thankful...

Rejoice!!

I am thankful that I listened to the Lord. I heard him call and I didn't back down. We moved forward...and we are still moving forward...until we bring him home. Hadrian is a blessing, even now, unborn. Wow. I know this guy is going to do great things in the Kingdom and I can't wait to see them happen!

And again I say...Rejoice!!

T Minus 24 hours

2009-09-01T09:49:00.002-04:00

I can't write much because I am getting ready for work. But I wanted to let everyone know how our meeting with the lawyer went. It went ok. He is referring us to another lawyer and he will remain birthmom's lawyer. Which is fine with us. The "bad" news is that we do have to have the money up front. He said we would need about $5,000.00. Which is about a thousand more than we thought. So if you have noticed the change on facebook....that would be why.

We are not discouraged, just more determined. So the plan today is to call the new lawyer and set up another meeting. Tomorrow is the only day Justin and I both have off, so it will probably be sometime tomorrow.

We are still working on the t shirt sales, those should be coming very soon. I've been asking people if they would be interested in buying one or two and the response is nearly overwhelming. So I'm pumped about that. We should be able to meet the goal pretty quickly.

So thats where we are today. I'm headed to work now. Woo.

Busy Busy Busy

2009-08-31T11:32:00.003-04:00

The past 5 days have seriously been a whirlwind. We have been doing something adoption related every single day...and it still feels like we've got a mountain of stuff to do.

I called this morning and scheduled our homestudy. The first meeting will be on Wed and 10am and the second on Thu at 4:30pm. We are trying to get our house into ship shape...So we've been trying to clean non-stop. Not that our house was a huge mess it was just completely unorganized with my parents moving in and everything. Boxes everywhere. How fun for us. The good news is, we're almost done.

The birthmom has her appointment with the lawyer today at 3. I'm not exactly sure what they go over with her, but it shouldn't be too painful. Our appointment is at 4:45...I thought that I worked 7-4 today, but I was wrong. I close today, so I plan on taking an extra long lunch. Oops. I'm sure no one will mind. I don't really know what is going to happen at the appointment, but it shouldn't last long.

Also, with the help of our great friends, Donna and Jerid, we will be selling t-shirts. We don't know what they will look like just yet, but we are excited about getting out there and letting people know our situation with Hadrian. We are also hoping to schedule and plan a chili dinner with possibly a silent auction. Its an idea that we are throwing around and trying to line up. So I'll be sure to let everyone know as soon I know something.

So I think that covers everything for now. Please continue to pray for us and for the birthmom. This is not an easy decision she is making and we are just praying for her to have a peace about it.

The Beginning...

2009-08-29T18:09:00.000-04:00

All stories have a beginning. Well the journey to our son Hadrian began on Wed, August 26, 2009. That was the day we learned of him and his impending birth. Of course the story of our family began years ago when Justin and I got married. So here is what brought us to today...

Justin and I got married on a beautiful day in June 2007. We had fallen quickly in love the year before and wanted the world to know it. I had always known in my heart that adoption would be a big part of my life. Its like it flowed through my veins. But it was always an "in the future" type of thing. We immediately strarted trying to grow our family the conventional way but after 2 years of trying and a few infertility treatments we were tired and stressed. I like to say we were on pause from trying. Justin wasn't able to go back to school and it seemed like we should focus our energy on that...and we did...until August 26th.

An acquaintance that I have through work approached me.
Acq: Leah, I have a personal question...Have you and Justin ever thought about adopting...
Me: Oh yeah, of course...you know...in the future...
Acq: Well.....(loooooong paaauuuuse) My cousin is pregnant. She is going to have a baby any day and they need a family. She is not able to keep him and they are basically scrambling to find a family. I thought of you....
(my mind was racing...she thought of us? No one ever thinks of us for anything.)
Me: Wow. Um...let me talk to my husband and we'll get back with you.

I nearly immediately called Justin. I was at work at this point and couldn't talk for long. I told him "There is a baby about to be born that needs a family, I can't give you details now, but I need you to just pray. I'll call you when I get off work" all he was able to say was "Ok".

So as soon as I clocked out I called him back and we discussed the few details that I knew...and we both knew in our hearts what had to be done. We decided to go for it. We have been wanting a baby and this baby is about to be born at any time and he will not have a mommy and daddy to take care of him. It breaks my heart typing that out. We were called to love this baby.

We have work that needs to be done to bring Hadrian home. We need to raise $4,000.00 and complete all the necessary paperwork. We are hoping to get this done as soon as we can as Hadrian's due date is rapidly approaching. Birthmom was at 1cm on Tuesday and the doctors told her she could go at any time. We are hoping he stays nestled in for as long as he can because of everything that needs to be done. So the more time we have the better. Our home study will begin next week with a social worker coming into our home. I would be lying if I told you I'm not nervous. It is hard to remember that she is on our side of this adoption when she comes in to our home for an inspection/intervew. I'm nervous.

I'm exhausted and I'm hungry. But I can't sleep and I can't eat...because I'm here thinking about my son...Hadrian Caleb Christopher...

I'm going to close with the Bible verse(s) I've been turning to for the past few weeks...
Isaiah 43:5-6

5. Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west.

6. I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'

and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth--

Oh yeah....